5 Ways to Build Resilience
What is Resilience?
According to the American Psychological Association, resilience is defined as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or significant sources of stress.”
As much as it involves bouncing back after negative events, it is also about coming out of the situation stronger than before. Every hardship holds some learnings from us, and often we develop personal resources from challenging situations.
Resilience is not only about coping. In positive psychology, the same things that have been found to increase one’s resilience, are the same things that can increase one’s satisfaction with life, or simply put – one’s happiness.
Here are 5 evidence-based ways how you can build and increase your resilience:
1. Self-reflect
Resilient individuals are often highly aware of their boundaries, needs, strengths and values. They know when they have to delegate a task, ask for support or simply need to say “no” to avoid feeling stressed. Additionally, when we are aware of our strengths & values, we can choose tasks and activities that are aligned with those. This increases positive affect, and we feel energised and motivated.
2. Cultivate a strong sense of meaning and purpose
“He, who has a why to live for, can bear with almost any how.” This quote by Nietzsche was picked up by Viktor Frankl, Austrian Psychotherapist and Auschwitz survivor, who is the founder of Logotherapy (=Meaning therapy). It shows how powerful it can be to have a deep sense of meaning. Frankl, who survived four concentration camps, writes in his book “Men’s Search for Meaning” that a strong sense of purpose has helped him live through these terrible times. When we have a sense of meaning, we have something to hold on to during adverse circumstances.
3. Establish self-care habits
Spending time with ourselves allows us to reflect on current challenges and gives us the time to find possible solutions. Moreover, self-care habits can help us relax and recover from stressful situations. The way to engage in self-care can be unique from person to person. It is about listening to our intuition what our mind & body needs to recharge. Some ideas for self-care can be journaling, yoga, getting a massage, meditate, exercising, spending time in nature… whatever helps you connect to yourself and find balance.
4. Strengthen your executive function (EF) skills
Executive functions are a set of mental skills that can help us master our everyday life.
Among these are, for example,
Meta-cognition: The ability to self-monitor & evaluate, as well as to zoom out and see the bigger, or a more objective picture.
Task-initiation: Being able to begin a task when needed. This helps us avoid procrastination, which saves us a lot of stress and time wasted.
Goal-directed persistence: The ability to persevere, reach goals & finish tasks.
Flexibility: The ability to be flexible in one’s thinking patterns and to revise one’s plans in the face of setbacks or obstacles.
We can strengthen our executive function skills through coaching or with CBT exercises.
5. Develop a growth mindset
In positive psychology, we can differentiate between a fixed and a growth mindset. Simply put, the difference between those two is that with a fixed mindset I tend to believe: “Failure is due to a limitation of my abilities”, whereas with a fixed mindset I believe that ”failure is an opportunity for growth”.
With a fixed mindset we tend to believe that we have a certain number of skills, talents & intelligence, and this will not significantly change over our lifetime. However, with a growth mindset we understand that skills and talents can be increased if we are willing to put in the time and the effort.
Developing these more optimistic thinking patterns cannot only increase our resilience, it can additionally positively impact our self-esteem, our courage, and our overall happiness.
Additionally, having self-efficacy, experience and the believe in oneself, significantly improves our resilience. The quality of the relationships in our life and having strong support systems furthermore strengthens our resilience. Resilience is like a muscle. We can become more resilient over time and with that, lead a happier & more authentic life.